This week I began experimenting with live broadcasts as I work on a large scale drawing which will be included in the exhibition opening on Saturday. It has been a very interesting process of discovering and studying new dimensions of the creative process. Today I completed the third broadcast out of 5. You may view the broadcast for the next 24 hours by clicking here. There will be two more over the next couple of days which you can watch live on Periscope or I will be posting links afterwards here in the updates.
Some interesting questions and thoughts have arisen through this process. At first there is chaos. I am aware of my own insecurities, fears, and doubts. I admit to myself the possibility of failure, the not knowing whether I will be able to pull out of the chaos, to transform it, to sublimate it. I am attempting to both create a path and then walk on it. On one side is the pure visual quality of the surface where the body disappears from my awareness and I am only concerned with producing an aesthetically pleasing image. On the other side is the complete engagement with the movement of the body where the formal quality of the dance is the primary focus and the visual is accidental. Is it possible to synthesize the two to create another possibility where the creative/aesthetic path includes both? Would it even be interesting? Why does that even matter?
As I begin, I am aware that I am being watched. There is a desire to make something entertaining/interesting. I am aware of being judged. But then I am aware of the honesty of my own body, my own experience. I perceive my body dancing as I focus on the sensations of my feet pressing into the ground, sending lines of force through my bones. The force meets the wall, the surface of the drawing, a line appears. I am aware of the hands holding charcoal, marking the surface. The wall offers resistance, providing a container, defining the edges of possibilities. As I press into the vertical plane, new lines of force are channeled through my body back to the feet. The cycle continues, articulating the dialogue between various dimensions of my consciousness. When I am done, there are two presences left: the marked surface of the drawing and the digital document of my body performing this act. It is the space between these two bookends that I am trying to articulate.